Yours Am I?
by Fall
Summary: {Part 4 added, 21 August 2004 - "Two down, how many more to go?" } The scheme to lead Hakkai and Sanzo into a happy ending, continues. Gojyo is now out of the picture, and it's up to Goku to keep up the scheme... or not. [WIP, humor, 838]
1. Part 1: Who's scheming?

Date finished: 30 January 2003

Title: Yours Am I?  
Series: Gensomaden Saiyuki  
Pairing: Sanzo + Hakkai  
Status: 1/?  
Category: Angst, sap and fluff. And probably some humor(?) in the next parts, depending on Goku and Gojyo's schemes ...  
Warning: PG-13 for the shounen-ai theme, some language  
Archive: Taciturnity [www.taciturnity.fateback.com] and the SanzoxHakkaiML [www.groups.yahoo.com/group/sanzoxhakkai]

A/N: This started out as a sequel to "Beautiful Stranger". Midway into writing this, however, I'm now wondering if this still is. We shall see. Also, this is my 4th multi-part fic. I hope against odds that this will not become my 4th _unfinished_ multi-part fic.

_'--denotes thoughts--' | *--denotes emphasis--*_

* * *

"Yours Am I?"  
by Fall

- Part 1: "Who's scheming?"

Strange, but Cho Hakkai felt like he was still in the middle of his dreams. Warm sunlight flooding his face, he was in a comfortable bed, and strong arms were holding him close to a warm chest. He snuggled closer, inhaling the unmistakable scent of his lover. '_Mmm, you're warm, Sanzo...'_ he thought.

Huge emerald orbs snapped open in surprise. '_Warm? Sanzo?'_ Hakkai looked at the pair of arms encircling him and back at its owner's face. Sanzo looked especially delicate when he's asleep. No frowns marring his handsome face and certainly no sign of lips curling up in disgust. And incidentally, these lips were visibly curved into a smile. He liked to see Sanzo in this state, but as it is, getting Genjo Sanzo to display his radiant smile 24/7 is something no one has attempted.

'_If this is still a dream, then I would like to stay in it for a few more minutes,'_ Hakkai smiled wistfully to himself. 

_'Right,'_ His nose suddenly crinkled, looking again at the slumbering Sanzo. _'And now I'm beginning to think in clichés.' _He laid a light kiss on the inviting lips inches from him. Long lashes fluttered for a bit before settling down._ 'Demo, I doubt if anyone else who could fill in my shoes would resort to avoiding the same lines.'_

Sanzo's lips slowly curved up into a smile.

"No,"Hakkai concluded, chuckling softly. "They probably won't resist saying them if they had Sanzo for a lover."

***

Beautiful ladies continued to appear beside him, lying seductively on top of velvet cushions, luring him with their honeyed voices. One of them had sexy brown hair and was looking at him with such alluring eyes that when she beckoned to him to come nearer, he couldn't resist. A blond bombshell was pouring wine on his head and chest, while his brunette favorite toyed with his hair. The woman had inched her face near him and --

"Oi Gojyo, wake up!"

"Nanda?" Gojyo yelled awake, shoving the boy off of him. Goku had been straddling him, pinching and poking everywhere he could reach.

"Baka saru! How could you wake me up just like that?" Gojyo snarled, picking up the boy by the collar of his nightshirt. Not knowing whether to consider throwing the saru out of the window or strangle him, he merely held the boy high in the air. After several minutes of glaring, he finally made up his mind to do neither. Setting the boy down, he contented himself with swiping the saru's forehead.

"Itai! Gojyo, you ero-kappa!" Goku aimed a useless kick against the crimson-haired half-youkai. "I was only trying to wake you up because of an emergency!"

_'Emergency? What shit is that?'_ Gojyo scratched his head, reaching for his cigarette pack. Suddenly, his irritation with the saru transpired into something like amusement. "Emergency huh? What, the pork buns suddenly sprouted wings and flew away from you? The cook is really a youkai assassin who suddenly attacked you and is now dead?"

"None of your answers is correct!" Goku gleefully said. "I was just thinking about Sanzo and Hakkai..."

This caught the red-head's attention. "Hmm...like what?" He muttered, his lips toying with the stick between them.

"Like Sanzo is a bad lover to Hakkai."

"Sanzo is a what?" Gojyo choked, instantly stepping on the cigarette stick that fell from him. "Oi baka saru, do you know what you're saying?" It was beyond his brain to interpret how the baka saru knew of any liaison budding between two of the most discreet persons he knew in his life. Peering curiously at Goku, he found no satisfying answer.

"Of course I know!" Goku indignantly retorted. "Not unless some ero-kappa here doesn't know what *I* know!"

"Okay, given that you know about *that*, explain to me what's so important you woke me up in the middle of my beauty sleep."

"Anou..." Goku looked around as if afraid that someone might overhear them. Lowering his voice, he beckoned to Gojyo and whispered something in his ears for about several minutes.

"Baka!" Gojyo hissed, making a face at Goku. "That's the stupidest plan I've ever heard in my life! Come to think of it, *why* am I listening to your stupid words?"

"C'mon Gojyo, don't you have any faith in me?"

"Try me," Gojyo said in his most boring voice, privately thinking how overused that line was. On the other hand, he had nothing to lose by watching the saru work, right?

***

Great amethyst eyes opened, making the emerald ones blink in confusion.

"San...Sanzo?" He blurted out, realization dawning on him. His lover was awake after all. "How could you tease me like that?"

Blond eyebrows shot up in surprise. It was evident that Sanzo was rather expecting a different reaction from his lover. "Really, Hakkai. You ought to be pleased with the whole situation." Amusement was evident in the amethyst eyes as they swept up and down Hakkai's position.

Realizing where he was, the emerald-eyed youkai blushed prettily. Sanzo was still holding him, albeit this time, the monk's head was propped up on one arm, with the other hooked about Hakkai's waist. It was a teasing position, one that Hakkai couldn't resist but smile sweetly at his lover...

_'Is it just me, or did I just see Sanzo's eyes glitter with mischief?'_

And as the one in question pulled him up into a deep kiss, all sensible thoughts would have been laid aside if not for --

"Ohayo, Hakkai!"

The two broke apart rather instantly. Not that they thought of anything if anyone chanced to see them -- it was the thought that Goku should be allowed some discreetness, even as Sanzo argued that with Goku's brain, he probably would not think of anything when he sees them.

"Baka saru!" Sanzo cursed loudly.

"What is it, Goku?" Hakkai asked, trying to cover the fact that Goku had just walked in at them, kissing. On his other side, Sanzo had raised himself into a sitting position and was in the process of reaching for his paper fan.

Great golden eyes blinked up brightly. "Ne Hakkai, you promised you'd take me shopping with you when we run out of supplies." He held up two canned soups[1] and one unidentifiable fruit. "This is all that's left," Goku said cheerfully.

Hakkai smiled at Sanzo, knowing how irritated the monk must be because his next line was inevitable. "Sou desu ne. Goku, I'd be with you in a minute."

"Yay! We're going out to get food! Food!" And Goku happily went out the door, accompanied by Hakkuryu, who was awakened by his happy chirping. Both were blissfully unaware of a vein ticking in Sanzo's head as the blond muttered curses under his breath.

"Yare yare," Hakkai merrily said, planting a kiss on Sanzo's knitted brows. "Don't be so touchy about this morning, there's still tonight."

Sanzo made strangled noises that suspiciously sounded like: "Bakaero". He turned his back on Hakkai as the latter prepared to go. Holding out his gold credit card, he remained silent, even as Hakkai planted a parting kiss at his nape.

When he was sure that Hakkai and Goku had left the inn, he stood up from the bed and got dressed. "If this doesn't work, I swear I would wring his neck off its body," Sanzo muttered, leaving the room himself.

~ End Part 1

TBC

* * *

[1] Assuming that they carried canned goods with them -- I think I've never seen them with one in the whole series.

Further A/N: Where did I get the title for this one? From Yuki Eiri's line, episode 5 of Gravitation. *Spoiler alert* Yuki came to Shuichi's concert, along with Ayaka. At the end of a successful number [Rage Beat], Shuichi suddenly screamed to his audience, "YUKI IS MINE!" To Ayaka's surprise [considering Yuki's grouchy nature], Yuki had this little smile on his face and murmured, "Yours, am I?" *End of spoiler* _Kawaii_, isn't it ^_^

Review comments and constructive criticisms are welcome.


	2. Part 2: The password is: Monkeyshines!

Date finished: 04 April 2002

Title: Yours Am I?  
Series: Gensomaden Saiyuki  
Pairing: Hakkai + Sanzo / Sanzo + Hakkai (Just for this part)  
Category: Humor, PWP fluff  
Status: 2/?  
Warning: PG-13 for the shounen-ai theme, language and hentai stuff.  
A/N: Finally, part 2.

_'--denotes thoughts--', /--denotes emphasis--/_

Standard disclaimers apply.

***

"Yours Am I?"  
by Fall

Part 2 - "The password is: 'Monkeyshines'!"

Gojyo's eyes glittered with amusement as he stood in the shadows of an edifice across the inn. He watched as the monk stepped out, sun-kissed hair shimmering in daylight, cautiously looking around as if he was suspicious of being spied on. It was an amusing sight, seeing Genjo Sanzo looking so edgy that Gojyo could have sworn he was up to no good.

_'If I didn't know better, the bozu is about to engage in some malicious activity that he doesn't want anyone to know of.'_

Gojyo smirked as he watched the monk's face change several times from annoyance to impatience and then into one of his murdering looks before shifting back into annoyance, and so forth. He repeated this for several times until the half-youkai was stifling a yawn in utter boredom with the monk's predictability.

Finally, after much inner debate, Sanzo stiffly walked towards the other end of the road, looking as if he was itching to gun down the first person who will ask where he was going._ 'Not a nice prospect, thank you very much.' _Gojyo waited until he was hidden from the other's view before coming out of his own hiding place.

_'Now, for plan number one,'_ He muttered, entering the room shared by Sanzo and Hakkai. His eyes roamed around its four corners, taking in the untouched atmosphere that pervaded around him. There was no available evidence that something happened last night, except for the fact that two men were sharing one large bed. _'Leave it to Hakkai for any subtleness.' _Rolling his eyes, he took out several items from the rucksack he was carrying and laid them down into the canvas bag that he assumed held Sanzo's things.

"This is too easy," He smirked, making sure that the thing he was planting inside Sanzo's pack was hidden from first glance. "The baka saru would lose to me, I'm sure of --"

He paused for a moment, having seen something strange in the bag.

"I had no idea the bozu has a thing for _/ bondage / _..." Gojyo said dryly, as he held up a long steel chain, several heavy pad locks, a set of handcuffs, a key ring with several keys, long strips of torn cloth, and a small vial that contains a clear liquid that suspiciously smell like...

"A sleeping drug?"

Finely shaped crimson eyebrows shot up in surprise as he held the vial within his hand. "Yare-yare, and here I was, believing that Sanzo is pretty unreceptive to Hakkai's ministrations." A suggestive grin lit up his handsome features. Oh, he was a devil all right, and what a damn intelligent one he was.

Immediately, he took out what he has planted inside the bag and laid it all out onto the bed. He rummaged around for a bit of paper to wrap them in and wrote a large "Strictly for Genjo Sanzo ONLY" on top. He laid the parcel on the desk beside the ash tray and went out whistling in the highest of spirits. 

"He owes me one, big time."

***

They've been walking for hours under the hot summer sun, going through each of the stalls that sold food at the town square. By now, Hakkai was holding two full shopping bags, while each of his arms had one plastic bag dangling from it. In the midst of his, "Hakkai! Over there!", Goku stole a quick look from the brunette youkai, feeling a little bit guilty at the way things were going. Although he would've let his friend rest for a while, it was essential that he should distract Hakkai for a long time; so resting was out of the question.

_'Gomen, but this is for you and Sanzo.'_

Struggling to juggle his own bags, he quickly led the way over to a stall that held...

"All kinds of liquors, the best there is at a bargain price!" The owner was saying, obviously promoting his stock to a bunch of men that had crowded around him.

"Goku, what are we doing in a stall like this?" Hakkai asked. He was wondering why Goku had led him here, when there was a pork bun stall on the left, and a chow mien stall on the right. Regardless of the fact that all the grocery they were both carrying consisted of food, food, and more food.

"Ne, Hakkai..." Goku fidgeted, innocent golden eyes going round as he asked Hakkai. "Why don't we buy some for Sanzo?"

Hakkai smiled at that. Despite his love of food, the boy had thought of Sanzo. An image came to his mind, of himself and Sanzo drinking away the night, with the monk ending up wasted in his arms, red lips parted and wanting...

He smiled down at Goku and said, "Hai, I think we should buy some for Sanzo."

"Yosh!" And inwardly, Goku was beaming with satisfaction. _ 'Hah! Plan A is going as good as I expected.'_

"And we should buy some for Gojyo too," Hakkai added as an afterthought. After all, the half-youkai will only complain why he wasn't bought any, and he would surely vent it all out by making Hakkai uncomfortable with all his off-hand comments.

He didn't see the look of resignation on Goku's face as he went to talk to the stall's owner.

_'Why do I have to carry some liquor for Gojyo?'_ Goku inwardly grumbled.

And then he was distracted as he saw a familiar head of gold heading towards a stall down the other end of the square. He watched as the gold headed, sutra wearing, scowling holy man exchanged hurried words with the old woman who tended the place and was handed a piece of something small and thin, wrapped in paper. Abruptly as he'd emerged from the thick crowd, he disappeared once again just as Goku was asking himself...

"What did Sanzo _/ buy /_ ?"

"Sumimasen for waiting, Goku. The stall owner had engaged me into a long and interesting talk about where he got his stock and how he was unrivaled in this town. Shall we go now?"

Goku was careful not to show his confusion as he nodded cheerfully to Hakkai and picked up several bottles of vodka and wine. He continued his charade of jauntiness, until they passed by the stall where he'd seen Sanzo stop by moments ago.

"Ne, Hakkai, what do you buy that is as thin as a paper?" Goku blurted out.

"As thin as a paper? Hmm, let me see. Either it's an extremely thin slice of anything or maybe it _/ was /_ paper that was bought." Hakkai deliberately dropped the word "small" from his answer.

"But you don't buy paper while exchanging hurried whispers and looking wary, do you?"

_'Yare-yare desu ne,'_ Hakkai thought, as he surveyed Goku's persistent queries. The boy must have seen Sanzo and his transaction. He too had seen it, but as he can school his features into an impassive one, it wasn't apparent. He must think of some answer to satisfy the boy's curiosity without giving away Sanzo.

"Of course I don't. But don't you think that sometimes you have to exchange hurried whispers to someone selling paper because you're really in a hurry and you don't wish to waste your voice? It happens because there are some who have an apparent dislike being seen buying things." He knew it was a lame answer, but he hope it will suffice.

"Like Sanzo does?" Goku quipped, thinking that Hakkai was rather talking in riddles. Well, Goku would rather be answered directly.

"If you see it that way." Hakkai chuckled, privately hoping that the boy will drop this subject. "Goku, what would you like to have for lunch today?"

And this effectively stopped any further questions from Son Goku.

***

Outside, he was the epitome of coolness as he stepped inside the room he shares with Hakkai. But internally, he was quite wary with everything that made a sound. He'd seen Hakkai at the town square, but he was sure that his lover had never noticed his brief presence there, or at least, did not know what he'd done.

But it sure made his temper flare considerably at the disgusting thought that he'd felt a little tense as he carried out his transaction, with Hakkai just a few meters away from him.

And it did not help that he should meet the ero kappa on his way back, each arm being held by a woman on either side. He didn't like the smug grin that was on his face as they passed each other.

"Flaunting your virility around? I would willingly read sutras for the souls of your would-be victims, free of charge." Sanzo had remarked in a bored tone.

"You would? Why arigato, Sanzo-sama. I would repay your kindness by teaching you how to perform the art of mating, without the process called force. After all, a Sanzo must be innocent when it comes to worldly pleasures." And the women he was with giggled at his response, albeit they were a little shocked at first when they realized he was talking to a monk, a Sanzo at that.

"Omae o korosu." Sanzo muttered, pinning Gojyo with a glare that could have rivaled Medusa's and turned Gojyo not only into a stone, but into a mass of finely ground half-youkai meat.

"The feeling's mutual," Gojyo retorted back, a self-satisfied smirk firmly in place as he turned to his companions. "Come ladies, we must head to our private utopia and proceed to engage in a _/ productive activity /_."

Genjo Sanzo could only glare and utter several curses as he walked down the road to the inn they were staying at.

'_And now, to give life to this / stupid / idea.'_

He walked over to the bed and dumped the thin parcel he had bought earlier. He immediately took the contents, crushed and stuffed them into a vial, which in turn he placed inside a fold of his robes. Dumping the evidence underneath several trashes in the bin, he proceeded to unpack his bag. He must finish this before Hakkai and Goku comes back from shopping, which he thought was an extremely long one since they've been gone for hours now.

A rather cold smirk was on his face as he thought of how stupid the rest of his companions were, and how tonight, he would have just one, hard-earned, well-deserved --

"Kisama!" Sanzo suddenly cursed aloud. A parcel on top of the end table had distracted him and caught his attention. He tore the paper off it and saw to his utter annoyance...

Several magazines with suggestive pictures of men and women in the most seductive poses on the cover.[1] It wouldn't have been infuriating at all if it weren't for the magazine on top of the pile which flashed these words to him in big, red bold letters:

"SPECIAL FEATURE INSIDE! TIPS AND TRICKS FROM THE GURU TO ACHIEVE SEXUAL GRATIFICATION WHEN YOU'RE HAVING SEX WITH THE SAME GENDER!"

And the next one made the nerves in his head tick dangerously:

"DON'T RESORT TO FORCE! THERE'S A WAY! SEE INSIDE ON HOW TO TREAT YOUR PARTNER THE RIGHT WAY."

He could only think of one, idiotic person who would do such a thing. This was someone who strutted around town with his sexual prowess plastered all over his face. A half-breed with cockroach-like antennas protruding from his head. The utterly exasperating person with an asinine mind whose only talents include exhibiting around women, bullying Goku, flirting with Hakkai, and wasting his precious temper. And his prized bullets are not even counted, as well as the way his wrist muscles get worked up everyday due to the perennial need for his _harisen_.

Now he knew the reason behind the bastard's smug grin. Did he think Sanzo would be indebted to him for this? To hell with the kappa -- he does his own _/ giving /_ dammit, he did not need any help, and he is absolutely _/ not /_ a hard-up horny man who uses force to get into someone's pants. By all crap and absurdity in this world, he was a _/ man /_ who can make Hakkai writhe delightfully in his arms.

"I'll get you for this, Sha Gojyo. Through hell and back, I'll get you for this." He was very much insulted, and he hated it. When Genjo Sanzo is slighted, he doesn't get angry -- he gets even.

- End part 2

TBC...

***

[1] This is to say that magazines were available in the Saiyuki timeline. I mean, what the heck, Nii Jen Yi uses a laptop, Sanzo drinks Heineken and smokes Marlboro, and Kougaiji had this screen that looked like a cinematic one in episode 4 where he watched the Sanzo-ikkou in their previous fights. So I think it's quite justifiable for me to imagine that they had magazines then. Humor me, will you?

A/N: Remember what I said on the first part? That this was supposed to be a sequel to _ "Beautiful Stranger"_? Well forget that. As far as I see, this will not turn into another of my angst stories. The characters would not follow my angst-plot-ridden mind and I want to explore a different prospect.

Gojyo will be as hentai, cunning and provocative as he could be; Goku is the innocent-but-cunning perpetrator; Sanzo is Sanzo, with the question hovering over him if he will be an instigator or the victim; and as for Hakkai, it seems he will enjoy all this.

Constructive review comments and criticisms are welcome.


	3. Part 3: Vendetta: Genjo Sanzo strikes ba...

Date finished: 14 October 2003

Title: Yours Am I?

Series: Saiyuki

Category: Humor

Pairing: Hakkai + Sanzo / Sanzo + Hakkai

Status: 3/?

Warning: PG-13 for the shounen-ai, language and other themes used here.

Standard disclaimers apply.

_Additional_ A/N (16 October 2003): Made some changes on my redundant sentences and other grammatical mistakes. Thanks to **sf** for pointing them out to me.

_'—denotes thoughts—'_ || /—denotes emphasis—/

================

"Yours Am I?"

by Fall

================

Part Three - "Vendetta: Genjo Sanzo strikes back?"

They were supposed to eat inside their rooms, with their food having been prepared by Hakkai, but as circumstances would have it, they ended up eating at a restaurant not far from where they were staying.

The circumstances had names, so to speak. They were called Son Goku and Sha Gojyo, each trying to out-do one another in "helping" a common friend.

Gojyo was seen ditching two women several blocks away from the inn. Judging from the pouting that was evident on their lovely features, he really had no plans of "keeping them company" as he had so pompously declared in front of a fair-haired monk a few minutes ago. But the women would not let him go that easily, so Gojyo just had to lie some more and promised to "raid" them tonight.

Gojyo was thinking that he was the cleverest and handsomest devil (no pun intended if there's one) that existed in all of Togenkyo…

He now had two lovely women believing whatever he said with that sensual mouth of his.

He was easily winning the bet with the _saru_.

He now had the corrupt monk fully indebted to him. (That is according to him, because at the moment he was not aware in the slightest of the monk's "reaction".) With a self-satisfied smirk still plastered on his face, he hid behind some trees and waited for Hakkai and Goku to pass by. He was not stupid to risk going back alone to the inn and making Sanzo think that the prospect of a rendezvous with the women had scared him away.

Speaking of Sanzo, the half-breed had something else in mind. It was rarely that he got the upper hand over the irascible monk, and Gojyo was enjoying it.

_'Maybe an addition of fuel to the fire would be in order?'_ He thought, another quirk settling itself firmly on his mind as he approached Hakkai. The latter smiled at him and started a conversation about things like lunch and that night's after-dinner activities. _'After all, the more infuriated Sanzo gets with this, the more they would end up happily ever after…'_

………..

Goku on the other hand was thinking that /he/ was the smartest person in all of Togenkyo.

First, he had made Hakkai buy him lots and lots of food.

Second, he had Hakkai buy Sanzo lots and lots of liquor.

Third, it was his idea that if they did not eat at the inn, Hakkai would not tire himself by cooking their lunch and cleaning after. He would then have enough time to spend with Sanzo and they would be so happy that they're going to thank Goku by tomorrow.

And fourth, he was going to win this bet. By tomorrow, Gojyo would know who was the smartest between them—and he would have to enslave himself under Goku's mastership.

A glazed rapture shone through his golden eyes as he gobbled up whatever there was on the table. This was lost on the rest of its occupants except for Hakkai, who was inwardly wondering what was happening with everyone.

Everyone was occupied. Goku was silently rhapsodizing about his apparent intelligence, while Gojyo and Sanzo were absolutely wary of each other. Sure, they often had a hostile air hovering between them most of the time, but this was different. It was as if they were aware of something that the other was not—if Hakkai did not know them, he was tempted to think that Gojyo was /waiting/ for Sanzo to move first and vice versa.

"Do you want more _sake_, Sanzo?" Hakkai asked, hoping to liven up the table.

"_ 'Ch_." Sanzo merely pushed his cup towards Hakkai, who made to fill it. However, the bottle was empty.

"_Sumimasen_. I didn't notice it at all." Hakkai smiled apologetically. "I'll get some more over at the counter."

"_Matte_, Hakkai. I'll get it," Gojyo cut in.

Sanzo was eyeing Gojyo with a wariness that made Hakkai chuckle silently. When the half-youkai came back, he had two more bottles and a new cup.

"Oi, Gojyo, what's with the new cup? You're letting me drink too? _Wai~_!" 

"No, you _bakazaru_! It's for me."

Hakkai amusedly watched as Gojyo poured _sake_ in his cup and did the same for Hakkai and Sanzo's empty cups. The half-breed never touched the cup he'd left, even if it still had some sake in it. And Sanzo just stared at the cup being handed to him, rather like how he would survey some filthy little _youkai _assassin.

"_ 'Ch_," They heard Sanzo mutter.

This was going too well for Hakkai's amusement, and he had to exercise all the self-control he could muster if he did not want some people to glare at him for chuckling out loud. His emerald eyes surveyed Sanzo's untouched cup, to Gojyo's abandoned lunch (which he'd been eating tentatively before he'd left to get more _sake_), and to Goku's still bright eyes.

_'Yare yare, desu ne.'_

………..

_'__Koroshiteyaro__.'_ Sanzo kept chanting in his head as he glared at Gojyo. Apparently, the half-youkai was enjoying Hakkai's attentions so thoroughly that Sanzo had this insane urge to discard his gun and tear Gojyo into pieces with his bare hands. 

No wait, that wouldn't be very much in character for Genjo Sanzo. So let's just say that while Gojyo was apparently enjoying keeping Hakkai's attentions to himself, Sanzo was seen furiously reading his newspaper.

They'd left the restaurant and returned to the inn, and were now sitting in Sanzo and Hakkai's room. As if it wasn't enough that he barely enjoyed their lunch by having to watch Gojyo's every move against him—now he was subjected to watching Gojyo flirt with Hakkai.

It was insane, but Sanzo's hands itched to get to his gun. His amethyst eyes appeared to be fixed on the newspaper he was reading, but anyone who'd known him for over three years would know that when Genjo Sanzo is furiously reading his newspaper, he was wrathfully subjecting someone into torture in his mind (not the _hentai_ type).

There was a crash, and then a cry. Looking up, he saw Goku had knocked several brown parcels off the table, sending a dozen or so liquors crashing down the stone floor.

"_Gomen_!" The boy quickly cried out. Immediately, Hakkai broke off his conversation with Gojyo and hurried over to Goku's side. After checking that the boy hadn't been cut from the shattered pieces of glass, he proceeded to clean the mess.

"Hakkai…"

"Daijoubu, Goku. There are some left, and Sanzo would live with," And Hakkai counted the remaining bottles. "…three bottles."

Gojyo uttered something close to a snort, but Sanzo wasn't sure. He was more intent in watching the _bakazaru's_ face. He saw something pass the boy's face, something that looked suspiciously like a smirk.

It annoyed him a lot. Here, the _bakazaru_ was smirking because of the bottles he'd smashed. Probably deliberate. The _hentai kappa_ was having the time of his life, pushing his patience to its limits. And here he was watching the two of them unconsciously drawing Hakkai's attentions to themselves…

_'Aha. So that's what's been making you grumpy all these time. _Hakkai's attention_ indeed.'_ A small voice maliciously quipped in his mind.

_'Urusai,'_ Sanzo shot back silently. _'I'm not thinking of that in the way you are implying.'_

He wasn't thinking of that. He was thinking of other important things, such as getting revenge on a certain crimson-haired half-breed. He folded up the newspaper he'd been trying in vain to read, and stood up from his chair.

"Sanzo?"

"I'll be back before sundown."

………..

He knew the one place to go where he could get what he needs to get back at Gojyo. The half-breed deserved it. And just as he was getting close to his goal, he saw the two women that Gojyo had been flaunting this morning.

_'This is going to be easy.'_

_……….._

Gojyo surveyed the scene before him contemptuously. While he'd been having the time of his life knowing that the monk was furious with the way he was conducting a conversation with Hakkai, the _bakazaru_ had to be clumsy. Now, Hakkai's attention was diverted, the monk had decided to go out, and Goku had convinced Hakkai to accompany him out and buy more liquor. His malicious enjoyment was thwarted because of the _saru's_ timely clumsiness.

He was alone in the room with nothing to do. He stretched out onto the window seat and tried to while away the time. He was actually bored with the way things were going.

_'Convenient—just when the monk's right hand was twitching,'_ Gojyo thought dryly. He recalled the scene wherein Goku continued to ramble non-stop about how he was sorry, with Hakkai cleaning up the mess. Then his eyes went from the now empty chair, to the windows where he and Hakkai were previously talking, and to the table where the bottles had been knocked off.

_'Wait a minute,'_ Gojyo started to think, suspicion brewing in his mind. _'_Timely clumsiness_?'_

He could almost imagine Goku gleefully accepting orders from his master. He was his pet _saru_, after all. Shaking his head, he smirked inwardly at the apparent foolishness of the monk. _'He thinks he can repay me like this—he must be stupider than I thought. Blondes.'_ [1] He smirked to himself.

………..

He must have dozed off because incessant knocking at the door awakened him. He walked to the door with an annoyed face, ready to kick the ass of the one who disturbed his sleep. Never mind that this was Sanzo and Hakkai's room, not his.

"Excuse me, is there someone here named Sha Gojyo?" A pretty little blonde asked nervously.

Gojyo's spirit rose faster than if he was guzzling down a dozen beers. The woman was prettier than most he'd seen, even sexier. _'And blonde too,'_ a nagging thought reminded him.

"I'm Sha Gojyo, my dear. Come in and make yourself at home." The half-breed practically defeated Hakkai in terms of courtesy. "What does a pretty damsel like you want, to come looking for a guy such as me?"

"More of, _'Are you blind and stupid to have come looking for a guy such as me?'_ ", Goku mimicked from the door. 

_'Since _when_ did the _bakazaru_ come back? I thought he was out with Hakkai…'_

"I beg your pardon?"

"Don't mind him, kids say the darnest things you know," [2] Gojyo laughed to cover his mortification. Behind his back, he gave the _bakazaru_ a death threat with his left hand.

"Goku, that wasn't polite. Apologize to the pretty young lady." Gojyo tried his best to imitate Hakkai's way.

"But it was for you, you _hent_—!" Goku was cut by the way Gojyo's hand was warning him. It must have been effective, because it made the boy approach the pretty young lady and say, "Look, _nee-chan_. That wasn't meant to offend you. I'm sorry."

"Oh, how sweet of you! _Daijoubu_, I didn't take offense," The pretty young lady was saying now. "Gojyo-san, you are lucky to belong to a happy family." [3]

"Belong to a what?" Gojyo sputtered, almost biting out in half the cigarette he was lighting.

"A family. You are brothers, right?"

And the two "brothers" looked at each other. Gojyo decided that the pretty young lady was human. So she didn't know the difference between a _youkai_ and a half-breed.

_'Are all humans like this?'_ Gojyor reflected. The pretty young lady was, well, more than pretty, but it seems she lacked somewhere in the facilities section. _'Think of it. Sanzo is human, but he's quite dumb remember? So is this pretty young lady. She's human and quite dumb but she is—'_

"Blonde." Gojyo muttered.

"I beg your pardon?"

"_Betsuni_. What is it again that you needed from me, my fair lady?"

And the pretty young lady launched into a story of how someone was stalking her, and how she was afraid of said stalker. Gojyo didn't notice that the pretty young lady was flinching with every look that he gave her whenever she said the word "stalker".

"Do you know who he is? Can you describe him to me?"

"I uh, I—" The pretty young lady stuttered. Then she suddenly blurted out, "But you will come home with me now, right?"

"I…will?" Gojyo asked, looking at the pretty young lady's physique. _'Damn, she's really gorgeous. I just hope she'd be willing—after all, I don't take unwilling virgins.'_

"Gojyo says he will," Goku suddenly interjected. "Gojyo would never turn down a nice young lady when she /needs/ him."

Different thoughts danced in Gojyo's mind as the pretty young lady latched onto his arms and quickly dragged him out of the inn. For one thing, he couldn't believe his luck: the prey had sought the spider herself. On the other hand, he really /couldn't/ believe his luck.__

_'Look, if she is really in need of someone to help her, she could have asked the two of you. And decent girls won't come running to you for help—they'd run to their boyfriends first.'_ Argued the logical side of his mind.

_'But she was the one who went to see me first in Sanzo and Hakkai's room.'_ His other unnamed side defended.

_'Point taken—but don't you see? How could she have known you would be there? If she'd asked the innkeeper where Sha Gojyo's room is, he couldn't have told her where your companions slept right?'_

But he merely brushed this off his mind as the pretty young lady led him into a pretty little house and made him sit in the comfortable pretty little puffy couch. Further logical thoughts left him when the pretty young lady locked the door and started to remove her pretty little accessories.

She was a pretty young thing all right. Actually, she was too /young/. He must have been tricked by the way the girl had worn her hair. And Sha Gojyo, even if he was the handsomest and cleverest devil in all of Togenkyo, knew when he shouldn't let his desires overcome him. He was virile and all that, but he was a gentleman at heart.

' '_Ch too young. Maybe in three years or so, but not now.'_

He started to say that to the pretty young lady (who was now opening the zipper of her long frilly dress), but found that his throat was too dry. So he absent-mindedly drank some water off the glass she'd put down earlier for him.

_'That was the stupidest thing I ever did,'_ was the first thing that lodged on his mind, as his vision blurred and he saw the pretty young lady looking at him in horror, while someone—was it a man?—assured her that Gojyo would live. Suddenly, he wished he'd chosen logical instincts over the carnal when he could. He'd already been wary of the monk's every act. He should have known better to be wary of /everyone/.

Sha Gojyo, 22, single and available, was suddenly headed to his doom. Or so he thought—no one knew except the one who told the pretty young lady [4]…

"One down, two more to go."

================

To be continued…

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[1] I have nothing against blondes. I love them to bits, especially Yuki Eiri and Genjo Sanzo. Actually, I'm biased when it comes to them.

[2] That line came from a show I am sure existed. Although I don't remember which one it was…

[3] I wonder where I got that idea…*pokes someone named 'superfish'*

[4] I simply refuse to omit that phrase. I'm having a fit just saying it…no, seriously, it's a sarcastic reference on my part.

A/N: Longer when compared to the last two installments. This is a humor fic, in case anyone is wondering. All characters were depicted in the craziest way I could come up with—I mean, if Sanzo angsts here because of the rain, then this can't be a humor fic.

Thank you to those who've been reminding me to update this fic. You know who you are. *glomps*

Review comments and constructive criticisms are welcome.


	4. Part 4: Two down, how many more to go?

Date finished: 20 August 2004

Title: Yours Am I?

Series: Saiyuki

Category: Humor

Pairing: 838

Status: 4/?

Warning: PG-13 for the shounen-ai, language and other themes used here.

Standard disclaimers apply.

A/N #1: To **Sariyuki**, who quite often asked about the progress of this fic—and for being the wonderful friend that she is.

_'—denotes thoughts—'_ /—denotes emphasis—/

================

"Yours Am I?"

by Fall

================

Part Four - "Two down, how many more to go?"

For a recap, we must all remember that Gojyo is currently unable to do anything useful. The pretty young lady, who apparently acted out of the orders of some mysterious male person, had drugged him senseless. But he is alive, I can assure everyone, and very safe because the mysterious male person /did not/ have any carnal interest in him whatsoever.

Meanwhile, Goku was found sitting alone in Sanzo and Hakkai's room.

"Bah, all this waiting is making me hungry!" He whined. "There must be food in here somewhere…" His eyes fell on the two bags on top of the table. Happy with the thought of finding food in those bags, he jumped off the bed and proceeded to rummage through Hakkai's things. He thought that as it was Hakkai who did the cooking and shopping for them, he must also be the one who kept their food supplies somewhere.

Without warning, someone struck him from behind.

"That hurt!" Goku cried out, scurrying out of Sanzo's reach. The monk's _harisen_ was poised to strike for a second time, and Goku was sure that he would rather be skinned alive than to face the wrath of that hateful object for the second time in a row. For now, that is.

"/How/ many times have I told you to /never/ touch my belongings?" Sanzo demanded.

"I don't know—I didn't count okay," Goku replied sheepishly. "But Sanzo, why don't you want me to touch your stuff? Are you hiding something in there?"

"Get out!" Sanzo suddenly snapped, kicking Goku out of the room. He was about to slam the door in Goku's face, but the boy placed a foot to prevent it from closing on him.

"What are you hiding Sanzo? You can tell me, I won't say a thing, /promise/!" Goku persisted, trying to squeeze in through the half-closed door.

"Remove your foot this instant!" Sanzo ordered.

"Ne, Sanzo, do you have anything to hide from us?"

"Do you really want to die right now?"

Goku's eyes sparkled. "Eyaaaa! You /are/ hiding something!"

"_Teme_! I'm /not/ hiding anything!"

"C'mon Sanzo, you can tell me!" Goku pressed, struggling to keep the door open. "Is your secret something to do with Hakkai?"

The monk furrowed his brows, brought down the feared fan on Goku's head, and pushed the door closed. "Get out and get lost!" He shouted, shutting the door firmly. He could hear the muffled sound of Goku's indignant shouting at the other end.

"Fine! I think I have an idea what you're hiding!" Goku shouted in a huff. He was annoyed with having been shut out as if he was not old enough to understand. In his view, he was old enough to understand /everything/. Why, Sanzo had no idea that Goku was doing everything he can to get him and Hakkai some quality time together!

"This is so unfair!" He muttered to himself. But curiosity won over resentment, and so Goku did not notice where he was going as he tried to think of ways to discover what it was that Sanzo was hiding.

He had gone a long way from the inn they were staying at, when Goku stopped in his tracks. He smiled as he ran toward someone who resembled Hakkai, standing in front of some building.

"Hakkai! Hakkai!"__

* * *

Sanzo was not about to tell Goku what he had in his possession. Not that _bakazaru_, not the _hentai kappa_, and certainly not Hakkai. Of course he could never tell Hakkai—for now, that is. The converted youkai would only convince him to throw it away.

He walked over to his belongings and started rummaging in it. After several minutes of searching, he pursed his lips together and dumped everything on the bed.

_'Where is that damn thing?'_ Sanzo thought, casting away anything unrelated to the one he was looking for. _'I know I placed it here. It _/has/ _to be here.'_ He went through them again and again, but still there was no trace of the item in question. Frustrated, Sanzo sat down on the bed and lighted up a stick. He considered every reason why he could not find his package.

"It's supposed to be here. I know I placed it here."

He sat quietly for a moment, trying to remember anything that would help him find the thing he was looking for. His mind went back to the scene where he had caught Goku rummaging through the bags. "Goku." Sanzo gritted through his teeth.

_"Fine! I think I've an idea what you're hiding!" _Goku had shouted earlier.

Amethyst eyes first went wide, and then it narrowed down into slits. "That _bakazaru_!" Sanzo snarled, crushing down his half-consumed stick on the ashtray. No one should get in his way. Not the _hentai kappa_. Not Hakkai. Not even the _bakazaru_.

* * *

Somewhere in the busy streets of the village, Hakkai stood in front of a small unremarkable building, watching the people who went in and out of it. He tilted his head to one side and tapped a finger to his chin, frowning as he tried to make a decision about something.

"Hakkai! Hakkai! Hakkai!" A familiar voice snapped him back to reality.

"Oh, hi Goku," Hakkai blinked, his customary smile back in a flash. "What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be staying at the inn at this time?"

"Sanzo kicked—I mean, I was getting hungry and I wanted to get something to eat!" Goku replied, catching himself in time. Hakkai did not need to know what had happened earlier. His friend would only worry about the effects of Sanzo's outburst on him.

This apprehension on Goku's part did not escape Hakkai's sharp eyes, but he pretended he did not notice anyway. It was clear that Sanzo had kicked Goku out of their room, but the latter did not want him to know for some reason. Hakkai bit back a sigh. Sanzo can be quite… insensitive.

"Goku, remember that stand at the market that sold tasty meat buns and fried noodles? Let's eat—I was about to go there in the first place before you found me."

As expected, golden eyes went wide at the mention of food. "Really, Hakkai?"

"Of course." Hakkai nodded, and he held out a hand to Goku. "Let's go then."

But Goku suddenly gave a jump and bit his lips. He looked as if he had just remembered something. "Oh! Hakkai? I have this err, thing, that I forgot to do somewhere. Just go back to the inn and don't wait for me. See you!" He waved at his friend cheerily and ran away.

"That's odd…" Hakkai mused. His eyes followed the boy until he was out of sight. Then he turned and faced the building once again.

"I wonder if this will do…"

* * *

Somewhere in the same village, Sanzo-sama was found stalking out of a building, looking as if he expected the whole world to bow down to his greatness.

He never had any doubts about his skills anyway. He thought about the thing that he had accomplished today, and smirked. _'At least that idiot's taken care of. He wouldn't know what hit him.'_

Sanzo walked back to the inn. Hakkai should be back by then, and Sanzo wanted to have some time together with him, just the two of them, for once.

* * *

Goku walked past the market without noticing. He was deeply in thought as he walked and walked, until he had gone around the whole village.

_'Hmm… Hakkai almost found me out!'_ He muttered, stopping in front of a small building. He sighed and sat on his heels. _'But I can't tell him that Sanzo kicked me out because then he would talk to Sanzo about it, and it will surely ruin their mood!'_

_'What they need is some perfect place where no one can interrupt them, where they wouldn't have to mind anything and anyone for a couple of hours…'_

A delicious smell wafted through the air toward him, and his nose twitched and followed the source. It seemed to be coming from inside the building in front of him, which had its door open for a little bit… A sign taped on it said that it was a restaurant.

Goku wasted no time in thinking and happily went in through the door. Someone suddenly greeted him behind the counter.

"Hello sir! Welcome! Sit down and make yourself comfortable! Your meal is waiting."

"What? I mean, really?"

"This restaurant offers free meals for lucky traveling customers like you! All you can eat for free!"

"Really?" Goku repeated, his eyes sparkling as dozens and dozens of different courses were laid out in front of him. He did not know where to start, but soon he had eaten everything that was placed on his table.

_'I'm soooooo lucky! Hah! Too bad Gojyo isn't here!'_

He turned to look at his plates, smirking as he rubbed his hands together, expecting more food to be served for him. He frowned after a few minutes of waiting to be served, and he wondered if the cook had run out of supplies and had gone out to restock, or something like that. After all, Goku was the only customer at that time. He shrugged and made to grab a glass of water, when he suddenly felt dizzy and crashed down from the chair.

"Oh no…" Goku groaned, struggling to keep conscious. His mind taunted him for his stupidity. He should have been suspicious of this place after noticing that he was the only customer for the past couple of hours. And that handwritten sign taped to the door! No real restaurant would do that!

His blurred gaze drifted on to the man behind the counter, and to the other man…

Wait—there was no other man before. How come he did not notice him before? When did he come?

"Two down, one more to go."

And that was the last thing Goku heard before he became unconscious.

================

To be continued…

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A/N #2: My original plan for this fic was to have it end at part four… but the plot kept on growing crazier and longer, so now there might be one or two more chapters before this fic ends ..

A/N #3: Before anyone points this out to me, _I know I repeated several phrases in the same paragraph_. It's just the result of my hopeless silly sense of humor XD

A/N #4: And now I can answer that question someone asked me regarding Part 3: _No, the pretty young lady is /not/ Sanzo in a wig._

A/N #5: In case you are wondering, this fanfic's category /is/ humor.

Review comments and constructive criticisms are welcome.


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